I have thought about writing a blog and/or op-eds since 2012. I want to get my voice out there. Why?  Ultimately – to give me a reason to live.  Sounds dramatic I know, but I have consciously searched for a reason to be here – a reason to get out of bed in the morning – for over 20 years.  One thing I know – I must find a way to positively participate in this grand scheme of Life. I must be of service and do my part.

We transcend our suffering to the degree that we are able to passionately employ our gifts in the service of others

bhagavad gita

How does this blog fit in? I am driven to express myself, perhaps due to life circumstances that kept me quiet and feeling invisible from a very young age (3 or 4 years old).  My life’s journey seems to be to have the courage to express and trust myself – as will become clearer if you follow this blog.  (Is this everyone’s journey?)

I’ve chosen to blog about “making meaning of this wild and precious life” because, as stated, seeking a meaningful, purposeful life has been a driving force in my life for more than 30 years.

I have been a seeker and I still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teaching of my soul.

RUMI

My intention is to write about that journey.

Why should you care? Certainly, you are the only one that can truly answer that, but my hope is that something resonates and connects with you.  That matters, building connections matters.  It may be the very thing that saves us from ourselves. 

I plan to write the deeply personal (“Meaning Making & Me”) while at the same time express my opinions about what is going on in the world – my op-eds (“Musings”)!  Why mix them?  Won’t that create conflict on the site?  Sure, if certain people start following this site, it probably will.  But I adhere to the school of “it’s hard to hate close up”.  If I know your story, I’ll (better) understand your perspective – it will (may 😉 ) make sense to me.  My “Meaning Making & Me” blogs reveal my backstory, the filters through which I see the world, while the Musings describe how I see the world through those filters and backstory. 

A note about this blog being anonymous. Seem a little contradictory?  Yes, I want my voice to be out there, but I’m not yet ready to have my name associated.  That is for personal reasons I am working through and current cultural reasons.  In time I hope (and think) that will change, but for now, this was the only way I could begin.

Brief Bio:  As of 2023, I’m a 57-year-old woman, never been married, don’t have children, have not had a long career in a chosen field.   Instead, I got sober when I was 20.  I started drinking and using drugs at 12, so emotionally I was still very much an adolescent when I got sober.  It took about 10 years of sobriety for me to grow up. 

Intentional seeking began at 33. I quit my (great) job and traveled the country from NC to Mexico looking for a place to settle.  I landed in NY, witnessed 9/11 and at 38, I joined the Peace Corps.  Still seeking, at 43 I started grad school at Antioch University for Conflict Analysis and Adult Learning and Development.  In between I survived stage 3 breast cancer. 

Over the course of 10 years, starting in grad school, I cared for dying family members – dad, stepmother, mother, and finally, my sister.  

Meditation is central to my life and has been since being introduced in college the semester I got sober. 

In sum, I’ve been fiercely independent, tried my hand at various vocations, experienced a lot of death, traveled the world, followed a circuitous spiritual path and – in case you’re curious – am not independently wealthy.